


Keep On Haunting Me

by Trundia



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mentions of Aaron Livesy/Jackson Walsh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-04-18 00:54:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4686074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trundia/pseuds/Trundia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron probably wouldn’t pick anyone over Jackson. He knows if Jackson were still alive, he’d still be with him. </p><p>But Jackson isn’t around anymore. He doesn’t have the luxury to think about what his life with Jackson would be if he was. He’ll probably never love anyone like he loved him. </p><p>But he’ll probably never love anyone like he loves Robert, either. </p><p>----<br/>Aaron has trouble letting go of the past while he's trying to move on with Robert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to assume this fic will be about 3 or 4 parts in total with alternating points of view from Robert and Aaron. Kudos and comments are always appreciated. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it!

It’s been three months. Aaron has spent three months avoiding Robert after the reveal of the affair. Initially, he had heard that Robert was disowning their relationship completely. He couldn’t deny that it had happened because Aaron had too much evidence against him, but Aaron has heard from Vic and Adam and Diane that Robert refuses to acknowledge that there had been feelings involved.

_I meant it. I love you._

It’s not fun, knowing that Robert had said that he loved him before, but now can’t even look at him. He had loved Robert so deeply that it had nearly torn him apart from the inside. Robert had seen inside the cracked, broken insides of Aaron and had claimed to love every bit of him, only to deny it to anyone who would listen. “He doesn’t matter. It was nothing. He was a mistake.”

_You’re the worst mistake I ever made. Falling in love with you ruined everything._

Three months later, Aaron has taught himself not to care. People in the village still send him glances and glares and whispers behind his back. He raises his head high and pretends he can’t hear them. Even when Ross raises his voice to make sure Aaron can hear each snide remark, he shakes it off. He has no other choice.

He’s learned to do that. He’s not the same eighteen year old kid who carves his secrets into his skin. He doesn’t need the sharpened edges of a razor to absolve him of pain.

Everything comes in strides these days. He works at the scrapyard most days. He doesn’t work Sundays. He’ll have a drink with Adam and Vic, sometimes Paddy and sometimes his mum. He goes to bed and starts again.

He doesn’t think about Robert.

Instead, he thinks about what he’s going to have for lunch. He thinks about who his next customer is going to be. He thinks about having a pint after work. He thinks about seeing a film with Adam or his mum on his next day off. Sometimes, if it’s dark and he’s lonely and the only sounds he can hear are the pit-pattering of the kitchen faucet, he thinks about Jackson.

Sometimes he can see Jackson sitting at the edge of the bed, staring at the wall the same way he would after the accident. Like if he could just stare hard enough, then maybe the wall would crash down and maybe it wouldn’t matter that he was paralyzed. Sometimes, he can feel Jackson lying next to him, his fingers flat against Aaron’s chest, the same way they did after they’d have sex.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” Aaron whispers into the darkness. He savors the nights when he can hear Jackson speaking.

“I had to come for you.” Aaron curls his fingers around Jackson’s and holds on for dear life. It’s nearing midnight and he’s knackered, but Jackson never stays past sunrise.

His day starts out the same way it always does. An alarm at seven, a coffee, and a brief chat with his mum. She asks him when he’ll be home from the scrapyard. If he’s going out that night. What he wants for tea. They make it through his probable five o’clock return when the door opens.

He doesn’t think about Robert, but oh boy has he seen him. He walks around the village like he still matters even though the Whites have kicked him out and moved on from him. He still wears the hideously patterned shirts that cost more than they should and a stupid cocky grin.

But here, now, Aaron can see that dumb grin wiped off his face as soon as he sees Aaron. “What do you want?” Not even thirty seconds past the door and Chas is ready to throw him out. She hasn’t had to deal with him very much— the village gossip has seemingly affected him more than it has Aaron, especially in terms of steering clear of the nosiest busybodies— but Aaron can tell that his mum is still outraged by the hell Robert put him through.

He keeps his eyes steady on Aaron. “I need to talk to you.”

“No. No chance.” Chas shakes her head.

Aaron cannot fathom what Robert might want from him. After the Lodge, after the reveal, after all of that, Robert hadn’t exactly been warm to him. Sure, the sting of Robert denying his feelings had lasted longer than it should’ve, given what the man had done to him mere _days_ before, but it was worse when Robert would flat out ignore him. While Robert had been groveling for Chrissie’s love, (and then her money) he had gone out of his way to ignore Aaron completely.

Not that Aaron cared. He was too busy not thinking about him to notice him cross the street when they saw each other or leave the café if he saw Aaron already there.

Still, they haven’t spoken more than five words between June and now. “Please, Aaron. I just— I really want to speak with you.”

“Get out, Robert. He doesn’t need you messing with his head again.” She’s standing now, her back turned to Aaron. He can see her shoulders strong and squared off against Robert.

He remembers how defeated she had looked hunched over Paddy’s kitchen table as she disowned him for the second time. Even though she has been a right pain in his backside for the last couple months, he can’t help the small smile as he watches her stand up for him.

It’ll be easier for them all if Aaron just hears what he has to say. Chas will never let him live it down, but at least he can peacefully reject Robert without her sticking her nose in. “Give us a couple, would ya?”

“Aaron, you cannot seriously let him walk in here and act like nothing’s happened.” He stands up and walks next to her, gently touching her hand with his.

“It’s all right, mum.” She gives him a sharp, brief look before squeezing his hand and leaving the room. It’s just him and Robert now.

They haven’t been alone since right after the reveal. It must be some kind of cosmic joke that Robert looks pretty much exactly the same as he had in June. The only difference is that Aaron can see what the loss of livelihood is doing to him. He doesn’t stand as tall. His hair sits a little flatter. His lies are less believable when he can’t make his smile meet his eyes.

Robert is silent. Aaron is silent right back. They stare at each other for a solid twenty seconds before Aaron’s had enough. “Y’need something, then, or are ya just gonna stare?”

Robert steps further into the room. Aaron takes a step back. “Okay. Fair enough.”

_You’re not going to say anything back?_

_You’ve heard it._

_Yeah, but I wasn’t ready for it._

_That’s not my problem, is it?_

_Fair enough._

“Right, get it out then. Some of us have jobs to get to.” Actually, Aaron doesn’t know if Robert has a job anymore. He remembers someone gossiping briefly that he _hadn’t_ been fired from Home Farm, but he can’t imagine Robert would want to work closely with the White’s anymore.

“I want you back.” Aaron scoffs.

Robert wants what he can’t have. That’s the fact of the matter. He always has and he always will.

“No thanks.”

Robert takes a step forward. Aaron takes a step back.

“I know that everything that’s happened between has been hard, but—” Aaron can see that Robert’s hands are shaking. Barely, but the slight tremor of his fingers sends Robert’s whole body off center.

“ _Hard_ doesn’t even cover it, mate.”

“But I’ve been thinking a lot, these last few months, and more than anything, I’ve been thinking about you.”

“That’s funny. I ain’t thought of you at all.” He sees Robert flinch under the weight of his words. Apathy is worse than hatred to people like Robert.

“I don’t believe you.”

“You can do whatever you want.” Aaron tries to walk past Robert— he might be able to get to the scrapyard before Adam if he leaves now— but Robert grabs hold of his arm.

“Please, Aaron, listen to me. I love you. I want to be with you.” His voice is higher pitched than Aaron’s ever heard it before. His grip on Aaron’s arm is loose, fingers cold and clammy like he’s nervous.

Aaron pulls his arm out of Robert’s grasp. “Doesn’t matter. I gotta go.”

He doesn’t look back.

\-----

Aaron sees Jackson that same night. It’s not usual for him to get a visit two nights in a row, especially when he can still hear Diane and Chas arguing in the kitchen, but he’s not complaining.

He never got to see Jackson enough while he was still around. Though not as good as when he could feel a heartbeat, this is the next best thing.

Jackson’s face is soft as he lightly traces the scars of Aaron’s stomach. “I didn’t want this.”

“I know.”

Aaron is pleasantly surprised at his ability to feel Jackson’s touch. It’s just as warm and comforting as he remembers it to be. His hands are as rough as they were when he was a builder. Nothing has changed for Jackson.

But everything has changed for Aaron.

“You shouldn’t hurt yourself like this. It wasn’t your fault. I wanted to die.” In his dreams, Jackson isn’t paralyzed. He supposes that after death, you can be whoever you want.

“I didn’t go to your funeral, you know. You don’t have to be here for me when I wasn’t there for you.”

“I had to come for you.” Jackson takes a breath. He doesn’t need one because this is a dream and he’s dead. “And it’s all right. You made up for it.” Aaron lets a small smile loose from his lips. He remembers visiting Jackson’s grave the day after getting out of jail and pouring a whole can of lager into the ground.

They lay in silence for a little longer. Aaron loves listening to Jackson’s soft breathing, his body lying next to Aaron’s own. Jackson’s head rests on Aaron’s chest, their hands entwined to their left. Aaron’s single bed hardly fits both of them.

“Do you love him?” For a second, Aaron doesn’t know what Jackson is talking about. When he realizes, he lets out a deep sigh.

“No.”

“You’re good at secrets, but you’re a terrible liar, mate.” Aaron laughs. He lifts his free hand to Jackson’s curls and pets it gently. “I don’t understand him.”

“I don’t wanna talk about him.” He only gets a small amount of time with Jackson and doesn’t want to waste it talking about Robert.

“I’m glad you turned him down.” He doesn’t respond to the comment.

Aaron probably wouldn’t pick anyone over Jackson. He knows if Jackson were still alive, he’d still be with him.

But Jackson isn’t around anymore. He doesn’t have the luxury to think about what his life with Jackson would be if he was. He’ll probably never love anyone like he loved him.

But he’ll probably never love anyone like he loves Robert, either.

Aaron lives on shaky ground. As much as he likes to think he’s completely over Robert, he knows that he’s just a step away from getting back with him. Knowing Jackson is against the relationship helps him keep his resolve, but he’s afraid that it might not be enough.

Robert comes to see him again the next day. And the day after that. And the day after that.

Each time, he brings a peace offering. A cup of coffee. A cheese toasty. A pint. Apparently, the way to Aaron’s heart is his stomach.

Among the items, Robert also brings his words. He tells Aaron that he loves him. He says that he should’ve left Chrissie when he had the chance. He should’ve told Aaron the truth about Katie. He shouldn’t have gone after Paddy.

Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve.

With each visit, Aaron feels himself slipping. He lets himself stand closer to Robert than he should. He listens for tremors in Robert’s voice for lies, but doesn’t find any. He’s taking each gift with a soft smile, even when he doesn’t want to give one.

Jackson doesn’t visit him.

Now, when Robert is in the flat above the pub, practically begging on his hands and knees, Aaron knows that the fighting is almost over.

“Please, Aaron, just tell me what I can do.” He’s not told Robert, yet, that he’s considering getting back with the man. Three months of being left alone with only his thoughts and Chas’ nagging has left him with doubts. He hopes that if he keeps denying it, keeps lying to himself, then maybe he can hold off on giving in for a little longer.

“Nothin’ _to_ do, mate. We’re over.” He walks downstairs to the pub, Robert hot on his heels. He stops in the back, making sure that none of the patrons can hear their conversation out of habit.

“That’s not true and you know it.” Aaron scoffs. He _so_ close to letting Robert back into his life, but he’s still not sure about the man himself. Too many things have happened for Aaron to trust Robert completely.

“You’ve made it clear that I don’t know nothin’.” He’s not trying to test Robert. In fact, he’s hoping that Robert will leave him alone so that he can build his walls back up again. He goes to the front of the pub, crosses the bar, and is about to leave when Robert’s voice stops him.

“I love you.” Aaron turns around, shocked. He’d been hoping that by forcing them out in public, Robert would keep quiet and leave.

"Robert, what are you doing?"

“Remember when Chrissie kicked me out after finding out about the robbery? And I offered to run away with you?”

Aaron makes a note that his mum is in the corner of the pub, her talk with Diane put on hold to stare at him and Robert. He hadn’t told her or Paddy about Robert’s proposal, knowing full well that he would never hear the end of it.

“Do you know what you said?” Aaron does. He would’ve gone away with Robert _forever_ if he’d have just admitted who he was. “You told me you would come away with me on one condition. That I tell everyone about me. About us.” Actually, Aaron hadn’t included the bit about himself. It wasn’t important at the time.

“Well, here I am. In front of our friends— well, your friends— and family, telling them exactly how I feel about you.”

“You don’t have to—“

“I do.” Aaron looks around. The pub is only half filled, but he knows this news will spread like wildfire within minutes. Everyone is town will know that Robert was lying to keep the White’s money— that he’d said Aaron didn’t mean anything in order to keep his fancy wife and his fancy job. “And I think you lied to me. I think you love me, too.”

He does. God, does he love Robert so much that sometimes his skin feels too tight and his bones feel too big and his head is a massive weight on his shoulders and he forgets how to breathe.

“It’s not about that.” Aaron sees his mum roll her eyes. He had told her plenty of times that he was over Robert and that there was nothing between them anymore. He hadn’t even told her about the reconciliation before revealing the affair. He had let her fill in the blanks on her own.

“Then what?”

“I don’t trust you.” Robert deflates a little at that. Whether or not Robert had been expecting it, Aaron can tell that he didn’t think it would be the ultimate factor of their relationship. He takes a brief glance around the room, being sure not to give any of their mistakes away to people who have no business knowing what’s happened. “I was supposed to be the one person that you didn’t lie to. And you _did_.”

“No, I— not really. I just thought— if you knew the truth, _the whole truth,_ you would’ve left me.”

“I left you anyway.” Robert glances down. He’s acutely worried about what people will think of him, Aaron can tell. There’s too many people in the pub and now they know that Robert is not only desperate to get Aaron back, but that it had been Aaron’s decision to leave him.

“And what about the Lodge, Robert? I can’t just forget that.”

_Whatever happens, just know that it’s your fault._

Those words seem to hit a nerve in Robert, who seems to be close to tears. From the way that she’s standing, Diane is ready to jump in to Robert’s defense. Chas seems half confused, half smug at Aaron’s rejection of Robert. “Um, what happened, then?” Diane shushes her, focused on Aaron and Robert.

“I promise, Aaron.” He steps from behind the bar, closer to Aaron than Aaron had let him in the past week. “That’s not how I plan to love you.That’s  _never_ going to happen again.”

“It shouldn’t have happened in the first place, mate.”

“I know.” Robert is shaking his head. He steps even closer to Aaron, but is careful not to touch him. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I want to make up for it. I love you too much to lose you again.”

Aaron lets the moment sit. He doesn’t know what to say. On the one hand, he still has dreams of a gun shakily pointed at his face, Robert in manic tears ready to pull the trigger. On the other, he knows Robert won’t go that far again. He has no reason to.

But if he does, Aaron would be better off staying out of the way.

“We have to go slow.”

Robert nearly falls over. His eyes widen in real shock and the smile that spreads across his face is tentative, but hopeful. “Really? You’ll give me another chance?” Aaron hasn’t seen Robert smile in months.

He’s really missed it.

“I mean it, Robert. We can’t just jump back in it.” Robert is nodding, stepping closer to Aaron, taking his hands in his own.

“I’m gonna kiss you later, when we’re not standing in the middle of a pub.”

“Slower.” Aaron warns.

“I’m gonna take you out on the best date of your life.”

“Better.”

Aaron and Robert are too busy smiling at each other to notice the people around them until Chas clears her throat, clearly annoyed at what’s just happened. She’s made no secret about her hatred of Robert and Aaron knows that she’ll probably continue on in the same way until they’re broken up.

“Okay, I should leave, then.” Robert lets go of Aaron’s hands. “You should wear that tie when I take you out.”

“What tie?”

“The ugly one.”

“That’s Paddy’s.”

Robert laughs. “Best not tell him I said that, then.” Aaron laughs with him. “I’ll see you later?” Aaron nods and Robert kisses him on the cheek.

After he’s gone, Aaron takes a moment for himself before catching the stares off the people in the pub. He’s not interested in them.

No, instead, it’s the glare from the back that really gets to him. Past his mum who’s stomping over to him. Past Diane who can’t keep her smile to herself.

It’s Jackson. Standing in the back with a scowl from hell.

“What the hell was that, then?” Aaron is frozen in place, unable to answer his mum. He’s never seen Jackson during the day. Hell, he’s never even seen him outside of his bedroom.

He’d just assumed that he had been a dream.

“Aaron?”

“What?”

“Seriously?” She points to the door where Robert just left. “You want to explain getting back with _him?”_ She can’t even say his name.

“Just back off, would ya?” Jackson’s arms and crossed and he’s shaking his head. Aaron knows what he’s thinking. It’s pretty much the same as what his mum is yelling at him.

“No, I won’t. Aaron, you know he’s just gonna hurt you again. Don’t do this to yourself.”

“Mum, please, just leave it, all right?” He pushes past her and goes back upstairs. He needs to get out of there.

He needs to get away from Jackson.

Never in his life did he think he’d ever think that. But if he can see Jackson during the day, outside of his thoughts, then he’s definitely not a dream.

Once he’s back in the flat and all alone, he paces his bedroom, trying to get Jackson out of his mind.

“How could you do that?” He jumps at the voice. Jackson is standing in front of his closed door.

“What are you doing here?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Stop. You’re just— you’re just a dream. Okay? You’re not here.” Aaron shakes his head, trying to throw away the hallucination.

“You can’t trust him, Aaron. You shouldn’t be with him.”

“You’re dead. You don’t get an opinion.”

“He’s hurt you before. He’ll do it again.”

“I’ve hurt _you_ before. You gave me another chance.”

“It’s not the same. You were scared.”

“So was he.”

“You were a kid who deserved a second chance. He’s a grown adult who should’ve known better. He’s more dangerous than you ever were.” Jackson is getting closer to Aaron now. With each step, Aaron can feel his heart beat getting faster.

“Stop. Just stop. You’re supposed to be a dream. You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I had to come for you.”

“I can’t have you here.” He feels his eyes well up with the familiar, fat tears he’s had his whole life. He turns, hoping Jackson will gone when he turns back.

Aaron doesn’t hear him disappear, but when he looks back to where Jackson was, he’s gone.

\-----

Aaron and Robert make plans for a date for the following Friday. Robert promises a restaurant more expensive than it should be, but Aaron doesn’t mind since he won’t be paying for it.

Jackson visits him every day in between, but Aaron refuses to acknowledge him. If he ignores him, then he’ll probably go away.

But he doesn’t. He’s sitting beside Robert when they’re seated at a restaurant close to the village. Robert wasn’t kidding. This place was nicer than any of their other dates— quickies in the barn, not included— and Aaron feels a bit out of place.

He’s also a bit proud, knowing that he’s no longer just a bit on Robert’s side. “Get whatever you want. I’m paying tonight.”

“This doesn’t have to be so formal, you know, we could’ve just gone to a pub in town.”

“I know that money doesn’t really impress you much, but I just wanted to show you that I’m serious. I take my dates to nice restaurants and I pay for their meals.”

Jackson rolls his eyes and Aaron has to resist the urge to scold him. Back in the day, it would’ve been the other way around.

“I think I figured you were serious when you declared your love for me in the middle if my mum’s pub.”

“How’s she been?” Robert asks with a grimace. Aaron knows that Robert has been avoiding the pub for the past few months, but even more so now that they were giving it another go.

“You know her. Can’t keep her mouth shut even if it were sewn.” Chas had, in fact, given him grief from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to bed ever since. She hasn’t relented, even going so far as to leaving the numbers of available men on their fridge. “She’ll get over it.”

“I don’t want to come in between you and your family. It has to be different this time.” They both think back to Paddy, who nearly died twice at the hands of Robert.

“Yeah, right. But he’s still out with you now, isn’t he? He can’t care that much.” Aaron ignores Jackson.

“You’re trying, Robert, that’s all that matters.” Robert smiles, his foot coming against Aaron’s underneath the table.

“Oh, _please._ Just because he takes you for a nice meal don’t make him the Prince of Redemption, Aaron.” Aaron clenches his jaw. He’s trying really hard to ignore Jackson, who seems to take every opportunity to insult Robert.

"Are you okay? You seem upset." Clearly Robert has noticed Aaron's change in mood. But since Robert can't see Jackson, it probably seems to him like Aaron is having second thoughts.

“I'm fine. Why don’t you order for me? I’ve gotta use the loo.” Before Robert can respond, Aaron is up and out of his seat.

Jackson follows him to the bathroom. Aaron checks to make sure no one else is inside before turning on Jackson. “What are you doing here? I told you to leave.”

“I had to come for you.”

“Stop saying that, okay? I’m trying to have a nice time and you’re ruining things.”

“ _I’m_ ruining things?”  

“Yes. I can’t be on this date while you’re whispering in my ear every ten seconds.”

“You shouldn’t be on this date at all.”

“I want to be with him, Jackson. Leave it.”

“I can’t watch you make this mistake. Please, just listen to me.”

“No, Jackson, you’ve had your say. Now it’s my turn. I want to be with you. With _you._ But you’re not here anymore. And that was your choice. This is mine.” He wipes away at the tears threatening to spill. He doesn’t want Robert to know that he’d been crying in here. “I’m asking you to leave so that I can be with someone that actually wants to be with me, too.” He leans against the sink and closes his eyes, hoping that when he opens them, Jackson will be gone just like last time. When he hears nothing, he opens his eyes again. Jackson is still there with the same scowl as before.

Aaron runs the tap and splashes his face with cold water, hoping it will help calm him down. He’s been in the bathroom for too long and Robert probably thinks he’s fallen in.

Or worse— left.

Pushing past Jackson, he returns to his table. Robert is fidgeting with the silverware when he notices Aaron and sits straight up. “I thought you might’ve snuck out the back.”

“Sorry, I just had something to take care of.” Jackson hasn’t followed him back to the table, so Aaron assumes that he’s left.

Hopefully for good.

He can’t have Jackson’s ghost haunting him while he’s trying to move on with Robert.

“So, can I ask you something?” With Jackson gone, he feels comfortable to start a real conversation with Robert. Robert nods. “Why now?”

Robert takes a deep breath, clearly prepared for the question. “I did try to ignore you, you know. I denied my feelings to Chrissie and Diane and Vic, basically anyone who asked, hoping that if I said it enough it would be true.”

Aaron nods along. He did the same thing when he had been avoiding Robert. He had hoped that his feelings would just magically disappear on his own, but to no avail.

“But eventually, it just became clear to me. I got a new job to cut ties with Chrissie and Lawrence. Moved in with Vic and Adam— which Adam loves, by the way.” Aaron smiles. He’s been on the other end of Adam’s complaining about Robert for a while now. Adam still hates Robert for trying to split up him and Vic and his animosity has only grown from the reveal. “It seemed like I had moved on. Moved forward.”

“But?”

“But then, after a full day of pretending that I was okay, I would lay in bed and think about you.”

Aaron feels the heat burn up in his face, a blush creeping across his face. Robert is smiling, too, and reaches across the table to take Aaron’s hand in his own. Aaron nearly starts crying again.

Robert is affectionately touching him in public. He still looks slightly uncomfortable, but once he sees that no one cares or is even looking, he then relaxes.

“Aaron I want you know that you’re it for me. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for what I put you through. I’m not asking you to forget what’s happened— God knows Chas and Paddy won’t let that happen— but I want us to get past that. You’re my future. I'm sure of it.”

Aaron squeezes Robert’s hand, unable to come up with any words.

Their walk home is relatively silent. After Robert’s car went up in flames, he never bothered to buy a new one. Instead he was trying to save his money to move out on his own. Apparently, he has to work a lot harder than he had at Home Farm and doesn’t get paid the same, either. But, as he explains to Aaron, he likes that he got the job from sheer credentials and not flirting with the boss.

It only takes them about thirty minutes to get back to the village and another ten to arrive at the Woolpack. The pub is closed, dark for a little while now, but the light in the flat is on. His mum is probably still awake, waiting for him to come back, hoping to pounce before he can make a mistake with Robert.

They stop outside the back doors. “So, this is me, then.”

“Looks familiar.” They laugh. The end of the night has made them both unsure of where they’re going and what they’re doing. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Robert nods and turns to leave. Aaron reaches out and grabs his arm, pulling Robert back to him.

The kiss is quick, but definitely not chaste. Aaron lets Robert go through shock and awe before melting into Aaron, clearly enjoying the feel of having Aaron back in his life. Robert’s lips are softer than Aaron remembers, but the fingers stroke his waist distract him with comfort.

Aaron is the first to let go. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

That night, Aaron dreams about Robert’s smile as he said goodnight.

 


	2. Chapter 2

No one is pleased about the reunification of Aaron and Robert except Aaron and Robert.

Especially Jackson, who spends the week after their first date glaring holes into the back of Robert’s head. But Aaron ignores him because there’s a beautiful boy who’s staring at him, smiling as big as the sun in bright. He, unlike someone, is still alive.

Robert has found his way back into the pub, now that their relationship is out in the open and he’s no longer afraid of being tossed out. Aaron may have mentioned once or twice to Chas that if Robert was made to leave, then he would, too.

“I’m a very good cook or don’t you remember?”

“I remember burnt eggs and a takeaway, yeah.” Aaron still thinks about that week he had spent at Home Farm with Robert, but it’s mildly masked by shame and regret. Now that their relationship is out in the open, he doesn’t feel as terrible as he had when they were a secret. Still, he remembers how guilty he had felt at the time.

“Well, I’ll think of something. Promised you a night in, didn’t I?”

“As long as you don’t go near a frying pan I think we’ll be all right.”

“Yeah, and as long as Chas or Paddy don’t come barging in, we can have a nice time.” Robert says it offhandedly, definitely not meaning to offend Aaron, but his voice is malicious. True, that Paddy and Chas have ruined more than one meal and more than conversation and more than one kiss, but Aaron has promised that they only mean well.

Aaron nods along anyway. There’s no point in arguing with Robert, anyway. Even he’s getting sick of them trying to control his life.

“Are you all right?” Roberts asks for the third time that night, noticing the shift in his mood. Aaron smiles at him and nods his head and tries not to think about Jackson.

“Told ya already, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but you seem, I don’t know, quiet.” Aaron raises and eyebrow. “Quieter than usual, that is.”

“It’s just weird, innit? You and me, havin’ a date in the pub like a normal couple.” Robert is still shy and hesitant about touching Aaron in public, especially around people that he actually knows, but he reaches across the table anyway.

“We  _are_  a normal couple.”

_What’s normal?_

Paddy walks into the pub with Leo and Rhona, sending a sideways glance over to Robert and Aaron before sitting at the opposite side of the pub. Aaron sighs. Paddy has been ignoring him all week since finding about their reconciliation. But Aaron understand why Paddy wouldn’t be happy with him.

Robert did, after all, try to kill him. Twice.

And for all the apologizing Robert has done for it, and for all of the explaining that both times were accidents, Paddy can’t seem to send Aaron more than an icy glare. Again, Aaron understands, he just wishes that Paddy could see that Robert is making him happy.

“You talk to him yet?” Robert follows Aaron’s eye line over to Paddy and then looks back at Aaron.

“Tried. He doesn’t want to hear it.”

“Maybe I should leave. I don’t want to get in between you two.”

“Too late for that, mate.” Aaron tries to hide his shock when Jackson’s voice appears right in his ear. He looks over to where Jackson was and finds that he’s no longer there. He then looks at the seat next to him and sees Jackson sitting there.

“You’re all right. Let him be.” He doesn’t want to throw their relationship in Paddy’s face, but he needs Paddy to see that they’re serious. Robert isn’t hiding him anymore. “I’ll talk to him.”

“He’s not the only one who hates me, you know.”

“What’s he playing at? ‘Course everyone hates him, we’ve all got a brain. ‘Cept you, apparently.” Aaron, refusing to acknowledge Jackson, leans closer to Robert.

“Yeah, but they’re just gonna ‘ave to get over it, aren’t they?” Robert looks unsure. “Robert, you told me that I’m it for you. And well, you know, you’re it for me, too, okay?” He turns their hands over and entwines their fingers. “Just give ‘em some time.”

Jackson makes a gagging noise. Aaron sends him a quick glare, but only receives raised eyebrows in return. “You ain’t getting rid of me, mate. One of us has got to keep a clear head about him.”

Aaron doesn’t respond to Jackson, instead a sharp pain rushes through his head. He tries to ignore that, too. It’s nothing he hasn’t dealt with before.

“You sure? I know how much they mean to you and I don’t want to ruin it any more than I already have.”

“It’s not your fault that we’re like this.” Aaron lies. Of course he blames Robert for Chas’ anger and Paddy’s disappointment. He’d be stupid and wrong to think that it’s not Robert’s fault.

Robert sees right through him. “I thought we were supposed to be honest with each other.”

“Sorry. Just tryin’ to make you feel better.” Robert smiles at him.

The pain in his head radiates past his temples and lays at the front. The dull ache that he’s used to mutates into a stabbing one he’s never felt before. He doesn’t need the whole pub seeing him doubled over in pain and he certainly doesn’t need his mum and Paddy fawning over him like a baby. “I have to, um, I need to go. I’m supposed to meet Adam at the scrapyard.”

Robert looks mildly hurt, like he’d expected Aaron to spend the full day with him, but hides it quickly. “Are we still on for tonight?”

“Yeah, ‘course.”

He practically sprints to the front door, trying to move past the noisy pub and the bright lights that just make his headache worse. He can feel the sharpness of it move past his head and into the rest of his body. He barely makes out when the throbbing in his head becomes too much and he throws up.

The headache lasts for the rest of his day, but he doesn’t see Jackson again.

\-----

Robert comes to the flat and makes him dinner. Not that Robert can cook, mind, but he knows how to heat up a curry that Vic made for them. She’s the only one who seems to be on their side these days.

“We need to talk.” Aaron lets it slip before he loses his nerve. His head is still pounding, even after taking the maximum allowed aspirin, but he soldiers on. He’s been preparing for this conversation for a while now.

“I knew it was too good to be true.”

“What?”

“Well, it’s not been a week and you’re already breaking up with me.”

“No. No, I’m not.” Robert lets out a breath of relief. “I just think we need to talk about a few things. You’ve been great this week and I appreciate that you’re, I don’t know, changing, but I’m still worried.”

“You have every right to be.”

“And I’m trying really hard to ignore everyone else, you know? Focus on you, on us. Ignore my mum and Paddy and Adam and Andy and—“

“Okay, I get it. Everyone hates me.”

“I don’t.”

“I know.” Aaron does a little bit, actually. He still has nightmares about the Lodge and still remembers wiping away his footprints at Wylie’s and that kind of pain doesn’t get wiped clean just because he’s given Robert another chance.

“But we still have some thingsto get past.”

Robert nods, sitting back a little bit, away from Aaron. “Where do we start?”

“I don’t want excuses, all right? I don’t— I’m getting over what happened at Wylie’s and the Lodge, but I just— I don’t think that I can handle it if you give me excuses for ‘em.”

“Okay. No excuses.”

Aaron takes a deep breath. It’s taken ages, but they’re finally going to get everything out in the open where it should be. No more secrets. No more lies. “You pushed Katie. But she fell by accident?”

“I swear I didn’t mean to kill her. I just thought it would scare her, you know, but the floor was unstable and she just—”

“All right.” Aaron takes another deep breath. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was scared. And selfish. I figured that as long as you thought that it was your fault, you wouldn’t say anything.” Robert hunches over into himself, trying to make himself smaller. Aaron’s never seem him Robert do that before, not even when he’d been curled up into a ball at the Lodge.

“I kept quiet because I thought  _you_ would go to prison.” Aaron’s never been too concerned with himself, to be honest. He’s never really cared if he went to prison, especially if he deserved it. “And I didn’t want to hurt my mum or Andy.”

“I know, I’m sorry that I told you that. I’m so sorry, Aaron, I shouldn’t have made you lie.”

“Well, you should’ve been honest with me before I tried to kill myself.”

“I wouldn’t have let you jump.” Robert is referring to the night on the edge of the quarry— Robert trying to talk Andy from jumping and Aaron trying to talk himself into it.

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” Robert looks up from his hands, eyes wide with shock and concern at Aaron’s confession.

“What?”

“I started hurting myself again. I couldn’t handle knowing that I was the reason Katie died and my mum was so upset—“

“The running?”

“It was more than that. I had cut myself a few times before then. At the wedding, the funeral— I couldn’t handle it.”

“I didn’t know that. I never wanted you to hurt yourself, Aaron. I promise, once I figured out about the running, I tried to help.”

“No, I know.” Robert did try, Aaron knows that for sure, but he didn’t help much. Telling Paddy some of the truth about Katie’s accident had been the one thing that had actually helped him, despite Robert keeping his mind off of it for a few days. “I’m not trying to guilt you, Robert.”

“So you said.”

“Yeah and I meant it.” Aaron shifts in his seat. It’s easier having this conversation now that Jackson is nowhere to be seen. “You just need to know. I can’t be keeping these secrets anymore—it’s killing me.” He’s not embarrassed about being a crier, it’s been that way his entire life, but he still hates that it happens so often in front of Robert.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Defensive is a bit of a default setting for me.” Aaron can feel Robert’s body tense up. He scoots a little closer to him and rest’s his hand on Robert’s knee. Robert relaxes under his touch.

“I promise I’m not trying to make you feel bad. But honesty is the only thing that’s gonna keep us together.” Robert nods.

They sit in silence for a while. There’s still more to talk about, but Aaron is tired. His headache dulled out at some point in the day, sometime between lifting scrap and walking home, but he can still feel it. He doesn’t want Robert to leave, either, but he can’t stand the idea that Robert knows he’s in pain.

It’s not fair, Aaron knows. Telling Robert that their relationship needs to be built on honesty when he can’t even tell him about this.

Never mind the headaches, he can never tell Robert about Jackson.

“I wasn’t going to shoot you.” Robert’s voice is delicate and small, like a child, but it shocks Aaron.

“We don’t have to do this now.”

“We need this all out in the open.” Robert takes a deep breath. “I was scared. And worried. But I couldn’t have— I could never hurt you. Not like that.”

The scars of Robert don’t live on his chest; they live inside it.

“You shot Paddy.”

“It was a mistake. I know. I know.” Robert repeats himself for a few seconds, trying to clear his thoughts. “The worst mistake I made was going after him. I promise, Aaron, never again. I’ll never use your family like that again.” He sits forward, leaning more into Aaron’s touch. They’re facing each other, but Robert’s eyes are casted to the ground with unfamiliar insecurity.

“Never again, Robert. So much as a threat—“

“ _Never._ ” They’re both in tears when Robert looks up. “I can’t promise that this relationship is gonna be easy. And that I’m not gonna be a prat or that we’re not gonna fight constantly. But, Aaron, I can promise that I will never do anything like that again.”

Aaron doesn’t know if he believes him, but he’s willing to try.

\-----

When Aaron wakes up after his night with Robert, he feels Jackson lying in the bed next to him.

“I thought you’d gone.”

“I know that you asked me to, but I just can’t. I had to-“

“Come for me, yeah I know.” Aaron scratches his head, trying to sit up. Jackson places his hand over Aaron’s chest, keeping him down. He then shifts his body, laying his head against Aaron’s chest.

“It feels like I’m losing you.”

“You won’t.” Jackson scoffs. “I’m not trying to forget you, you know. But you’re dead. It’s not fair.”

“I know.” For a second, Aaron forgets about Robert. He forgets about how disappointed Paddy and his mum are. He forgets that the whole village knows his dirty secrets and he can’t leave the flat without getting stares. All he can feel is Jackson’s rough hands touching his chest and his neck and his face.

When Jackson’s lips find Aaron’s, it feels like heaven’s come and found him. It’s gentle, the same way it had been when it was real, and soft. He tongue flicks over Jackson’s bottom lip and Jackson smiles, their teeth clinking together. The angle is strange and uncomfortable, but Aaron feels his body become warm.

He slowly pulls away from Jackson and wraps his arms around him. “I miss you.”

Jackson sighs. “I know it’s not fair, Aaron. I wish it was.”

“Could’ve been.”

“Please don’t.” Aaron nods, leaning forward to rest his head on top of Jackson’s. “I’m sorry about how I’ve been. I just can’t stand knowing that he might hurt you again.”

“And he might not.” Aaron thinks a lot about it, too. Even after his talk with Robert, he still worries what he’s capable of. He’s seen the destruction of their love first hand and doesn’t want to relive the experience.

“Don’t be so naïve, Aaron. You know him better than that.”

“Jackson, please, I don’t want to talk about him.”

They lay in silence. Aaron can’t keep his head straight. Robert is his real life boyfriend— the one who can take him on dates and kiss him senseless and make him feel full and good and whole again.

But the tingling sensation from his kiss with Jackson rests on his lips. He didn’t think that would’ve been able to happen, especially considering that Jackson is only his hallucination.  

“What do you think would’ve happened? If I hadn’t gotten into that accident? Would we still be together?”

“Maybe. I hope so. Maybe we’d have our own place in the village, just the two of us.” He hasn’t allowed himself to think about it since the accident. There’s no point in him wondering what life could’ve been like if it couldn’t have been. “Rent a place off Eric. Buy a dog or two.” If Jackson had still been alive, he probably never would’ve gotten involved with Robert. His mum and Paddy wouldn’t be disappointed in him like they are now. Katie would probably still be alive.

“And if I’d still be in the accident? What would’ve happened to us?”

“Not much different, I don’t think. Would’ve found a house without stairs and maybe just the one dog, but I think we could’ve made it work.”

“Sounds nice.”

“Would’ve been.” Aaron tries not to sound bitter.

“It’s not what I wanted. And don’t fool yourself. It’s not what you wanted, either.”

“You don’t know that.”

“You really would’ve been okay with taking care of me for the rest of your life? Like a child? Forget about being intimate, Aaron, we couldn’t hold hands let alone have sex.”

“I don’t need sex. I was okay just being with you. If that meant carrying you to bed and feeding you your meals and bathing you, then that’s what I would’ve done.” He tries not to raise his voice, knowing full well that his mum and Diane will be able to hear him if he yells. He’s not so sure that they can’t hear him now. “And being intimate is more than just sex, Jackson.”

“It just didn’t feel right— being like that.”

“Maybe if you’d have given yourself more time.” It’s the argument they had a dozen times over when Jackson had planned to die and it was happening all over again. Aaron wouldn’t allow Jackson to lay in his bed and hug his body and sing sweet praises knowing that he would have picked the same outcome.

“There’s nothing you could have said. You tried everything and I still wanted to die.”

The heavy weight of Jackson’s confession sits on his chest. There’d always been a part of him—the same part that allowed him to cut into his stomach without a second thought— that had been sure there was more he could’ve done for Jackson.

Hearing the opposite makes him nauseous.

“You should leave.”

“What? I thought—”

“Please, Jackson, just go away.” He waits for Jackson to disappear before he rolls over onto his side and hugs his pillow. And for the second time that day, he cries.

\-----

Aaron spends a lot of his time at the scrapyard with Adam, who doesn’t seem as concerned about Robert as everyone else.

Aaron welcomes the company, especially because it’s the only hours in a day he gets without worried glances and disappointed eyebrows.

They’re on a lunch break, a half hour that they’ve carved out to be mates, when Adam casually brings up Robert. “Vic wants us to double date or somethin’.”  

Aaron snorts into his sandwich. “Ain’t happening.”

“Oh, c’mon mate. This is important to her.”

“We’re just tryin’ to keep to ourselves, right?”

“You know she’s not gonna let it go.”

“Ain’t my problem.

“Just a drink. Please, mate. Vic wants to see you two’s out as a couple.” There’s a very definite chance that Vic is trying to persuade Robert of the exact same thing.

“We’ve only just started seeing each other. It’s a bit too soon for a double date.”

“But you’ve been together for nearly a year, yeah? It’s not that different. Except now it’s you and I don’t haveta listen to Chrissie brag about her…” He trails off when he looks at Aaron’s face. “Right. Sorry. All I’m saying is think about it.” Aaron watches as Adam takes a sip from his soda, not seeming bothered about the rejection at all.

“Who’d you plan on being the bigger problem?”

“You, ‘course.” They smile. Aaron knows that if Vic goes to Robert, it means that they’re going. Robert can’t say no to her and Aaron can’t deny that a night out where Robert doesn’t ignore him in favor of his wife isn’t appealing.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Depends.”

“What could you  _possibly_ see in Robert? Is it a sex thing? Because I mean, he’s a bit—"

“Obnoxious?”

“Hey, you said it, mate.”

Aaron sighs. Sometime he can’t even convince himself why he should be with Robert, let alone all the people who keep asking him to. “I dunno.”

“That really clears it up.”

“What do you want me to say? Sometimes I really hate him, you know?” Adam nods like he does, but Aaron knows that he doesn’t really understand. “But he’s, I don’t know— he’s Robert. He has this way of making me feel— it just feels right, when I’m with him.”

“Aw. You goin’ soft on me, mate?” Aaron tosses what’s left of his sandwich at Adam. He hates telling people his feelings, especially when he knows he’ll be made fun of for it, but he needs Adam to know. He needs everyone to know that Robert’s in his life for good.

“Yeah, whatever.”

"It's not a  bad thing, y'know. It's nice to see you, I dunno, happy." Aaron raises his eyebrows. "I just mean that I've always known you to be a bit of a...well, I didn't always know if you could be happy after Jackson."

"Adam—"

"But you are. I might not understand Robert or even  _like_ 'im, but you and Vic seem to love 'im. So I'm well chuffed for ya, okay, mate?"

"Thanks." Aaron smiles to himself. At least one person can see what Robert does for him. Sure, they haven't had the healthiest of relationships, but they're changing. They're becoming happy together and he's glad that someone else can see it. 

It feels a bit less like the world is against them.

\-----

A few days later, Aaron heads home from the scrapyard to change for his double date with Adam and Vic. Robert, predictably, just couldn’t say no to Vic and Aaron hadn’t had the energy to challenge him.

Robert’s waiting for him in the flat when he arrives, already dressed in jeans, a button up, and his leather jacket.

“What’re you doin’ here? I thought we were meeting in the pub.”

“Thought I’d skip the part where Chas glares at me for twenty minutes.”

“Sorry ‘bout her. I don’t know what to say to make it better.” Robert rolls his eyes and Aaron smiles, kissing him on the cheek. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Robert grabs his hand before he can leave and pulls Aaron back against him. With one hand connected to Aaron, he places the other on Aaron’s waist and leans in, initiating a kiss that Aaron melts into. Robert’s hands release themselves and find their way to Aaron’s face, lips parting way for Aaron. Aaron ruins the kiss by smiling into it.

“We don’t haveta go tonight. We could just stay here. Your room's more fun than any pub I've been to _.”_

“Vic would kill us if we didn’t show.” Truth is, Aaron hasn’t allowed them to get very far where sex is concerned. He knows that they’ll get there eventually, but it never seems to be the right time. He doesn’t know how long he can hold out, though, especially because Robert's looking  _very_ nice tonight.

Aaron reminds himself that trust has to come first. He won’t have sex with Robert until they build the trust back.

“She’ll understand.”

“Sorry, Robert. You’re the one who agreed to going out. You’ve made your bed.” He leaves a pouting Robert and heads upstairs to change his clothes.

He finds a black jumper that fits and smells all right. When he looks at himself in the mirror, Jackson is behind him.

“It’s not gonna work.”

“What?”

“Acting like everythin’s okay. It’s not, Aaron. Look at ya.” Aaron can feel his face heating up.

“’m fine.”

“You can’t lie to me.”

“Who says I’m lying?” Jackson rolls his eyes as Aaron double checks his pockets for his phone and wallet. As he looks around the room, he hears his mum’s voice from the living room.

“Why couldn’t you have just stayed away?” It’s Aaron’s turn to roll his eyes. Chas had been trying to have it out with Robert all week, but Aaron had been there to calm them both down. Without him, Robert is left to either fight back or ignore Chas; either way will upset her no matter what.

He takes the stairs down two at a time, Jackson right behind him.

“Mum, stop, all right?” He pushes through the door and past her to stand next to Robert, whose shoulders are squared up for a fight.

“Aaron, love, please, just  _try_ to see some sense.”

“It’s my choice, okay? Mind your own business.”

“I will not, not when it comes to you and ‘im.” She points to Robert with a sneer. Aaron’s just about had enough of people trying to tell him what to do. Especially his mum. And especially Jackson, who’s standing next to her nodding at her words.

“Yeah, all right, keep goin’. Insult him. Be as cruel as you like.”

“What?” Robert says it as Chas raises her eyebrows in excited glee.

“Say whatever you want. But don’t count on me to be around to listen to it.” Chas’ face falls immediately. Aaron feels himself stand a little taller, trying to keep himself steady and sure. He doesn’t want to cut his mum out of his life, not again, but he can’t stand the pressure anymore.

“You’d really choose  _him_ over your family?” Aaron feels himself start to shake, his mind going hazy and near blank. Then he feels Robert’s hand on his, entwining their fingers and squeezing his hand.

“Maybe we should leave this for later, yeah? You’re both upset.”

“No, I wanna know. You’d really pick ‘im?”

“Like you never picked anyone over me?” Chas’ eyes go wide and her body tightens. Aaron watches a thousand emotions climb through her body before settling on shame and guilt.

“That was a mistake. You know that.” Her voice is smaller than he ever remembers. He doesn’t want to see her cry again, but he can’t stop himself.

Jackson looks just as shocked as Chas.

“You picked someone else  _over and over_ again. Carl, mostly.” Chas looks away from him. “Why did I live with Paddy in the first place? You told me that I was a lost cause. That your relationship with  _him_  was more important than me.” Robert steps a little closer to Aaron, their hands still together, and puts his free hand on Aaron’s arm.

“And you know that was wrong. I would never do that to you again.” Her makeup smears when she wipes her eyes. She tries to stand a little taller, but Aaron can tell false bravado when he sees it. “You’re gonna stand ‘ere and use Carl against me when you know it was wrong? You’re still gonna pick him?”

“If I ‘ave to.”

“Aaron.” Robert’s voice is soft and gentle, like he’s talking to a baby bird. “C’mon, she’s your mum.”

“Yeah an’ she should keep ‘er nose out.”

“I can’t believe you would do that. After all you two have been through.” Jackson speaks up for the first time, his mouth in a firm, hard line. “After all the work it took for you two to have a relationship— you’re just gonna throw it away for him?”

“Just shut up, all right?” Chas steps back, confusion and hurt crosses her face. He didn’t mean to direct it at her, but Jackson doesn’t look that bothered. “Look, mum, I’m sorry. I love ya, I do and I don’t want Robert to get in between us. But I’m with him now and you’re just gonna haveta accept it.”

He pulls Robert past Chas and Jackson and they don’t stop until they’re in Aaron’s car. “You didn’t have to do that, y’know. I  _can_ stand up for myself.”

“You shouldn’t have to. When it comes to her, I mean. She’ll get over it and then she’ll convince Paddy to get over it. They can’t hate you forever.”

“Wanna bet?”

They’re supposed to meet Vic and Adam at a pub in Hotten for their double date and Aaron wants to do anything but.

Apparently, Robert is on the same page as him. “We could skip drinks with them. If you wanted.”

“Vic’ll be mad.”

“Yeah, but she’d would understand. And Adam, probably. They both know what your mum’s like.”

“You’d really be okay with that?” He tilts his head to the side and eyes Robert. Robert smiles and nods. “What do we do instead?”

“Dunno. Could just drive ‘round.”

“Anywhere specific?”

“Anywhere but here.” Aaron smiles, too, but smaller than Robert. Despite everyone’s objections to them, Aaron thinks that he and Robert are pretty much made for each other.

“I can do that.” Aaron’s used to running away from his problems— literally and metaphorically— but at least this time, he’s not alone.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the lovely reviews and kudos!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am unbelievably sorry that this chapter took so long! But a few things before beginning the chapter: 1) I've changed the rating from 'mature' to 'explicit' based on the contents of the chapter. 2) I was more concerned with getting this chapter out than the quality of it, and therefore (in my opinion) some of the writing is questionable. That being said, I hope you enjoy!

It’s four a.m. when Aaron drops Robert off at Keeper’s Cottage— the suns not even up yet— but Robert leans over and gives Aaron a quick kiss. “I’ll miss you.”

“Don’t be gross.” Robert smiles at him and leaves. Aaron watches the light in the kitchen go on and then twenty seconds later, turn off.

When he arrives back at the pub, his mum is asleep on the couch and Paddy is sitting at the table, reading a book and drinking a cup of tea.

Aaron tries to sneak past him, but Paddy catches his eye and stands up. “Where’ve you been?”

“Out.”

“Adam said you were supposed to have a drink with him, but never showed.”

“Yeah, we needed to get away for a bit.” They drove around for about three hours before finding a field in the middle of nowhere and lying in the grass. It was dumb and superfluous, but they talked about their relationship— and then family and their pasts and the possible future— for hours until Robert noticed the time.

“You and Robert?” Aaron nods. “He didn’t _make_ you…?”

“What are you on about, Paddy?” He sees Chas stir on the couch. She blinks wearily and throws the blanket off her body.

“When’d you get back?”

“He was trying to sneak in, just now.” Aaron rolls his eyes. They’re trying to mess it all up, trying to make it sound dirty and bad, like they’re still having an affair.

“I hope it was worth it.” It was, yeah. He doesn’t regret skiving off drinks with Adam and Vic— they’re mates, they’ll understand.

But he regrets the reason that they did it. He never meant to say all that to his mum. He never wants to bring up Carl again and he certainly wants to stop blaming her for his abandonment issues.

“Look, mum—“

She cuts him off. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. I’m gonna finish my beauty sleep upstairs.”

Chas avoids eye contact with Aaron as they watch her leave. He runs his hands over his face, trying to will Paddy away at the same time.

“We’ve been dead worried about you, you know.”

“That’s why you’ve been ignoring me, then?”

“I thought some space would be good.”

“Or you thought that I’d stop seeing Robert if you blanked me.” Paddy gestures wildly, trying to come up with something to say. Aaron’s known Paddy for eight years and he can always tell when he has something to say, but doesn’t want to hurt Aaron’s feelings. “Well, it obviously didn’t work.”

“You know your mum told me what you said to her.” A weight pushes onto the Aaron’s chest that forces him to sit down. His headache comes back— as if it was every really gone— as soon as Paddy continues talking. “I know you’re upset that we don’t like Robert, but we’re just trying to protect you. And— and saying those things to her— well, that doesn’t make it okay.”

“Yes, I know. I’m sorry, I tried telling her, but she won’t listen. And neither will you.”

“He tried to _kill_ me, Aaron. Twice. So maybe you can understand why I don’t want you seeing him.”

“I do.” The words spill out of Aaron like warm liquid. He feels the burn of them on his tongue. “I don’t know what to do, Paddy.”

“Stay away from him.”

“I can’t.” It’s the truth. He can’t give Robert up. Every moment they spend apart is like a piece of him being tugged away. “I love him.”

“But that doesn’t mean you have to _date_ him. It’ll be hard, but I really think—”

“You’re not gettin’ this. I don’t want to stop seeing him. It’s too hard. I’m tired of fighting it, of not being around him.”

“And what about your mum? Or me? Are you really prepared to give up your family— your _life_ — for him?”

“Why do I have to give up either? Why can’t you and my mum see that he’s changed and he’s making me happy? He won’t hurt anyone anymore, alright? He’s promised.”

“Because we all know Robert can be trusted to keep a promise.”

“So that’s it, then? Either I choose you or you’re gone?”

Paddy looks away from Aaron and doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t want to lose Paddy. They’ve been through too much together to let him slip away over something like this.

“Please, Paddy. You don’t have to trust Robert, but could you just trust me?”

Paddy looks as though he’s giving it a good thought. Hope swells inside Aaron; his life, his family aren’t going anywhere.

“I can’t stand here and tell you that it’s okay. But I don’t wanna lose ya.”

“I’ll make it work. I promise.”

For the first time, Aaron thinks about the future and smiles.

\------

Robert has Aaron pressed up against the side of his car, one hand rested on the metal of the door and the other planted softly against Aaron’s face. They’re kissing — of course they are — in front of the Woolpack, but the lights are out and the boys are alone.

Aaron’s wraps his arm around Robert’s back, pulling him closer. His other hand slides beneath Robert’s jacket and shirt, rubbing his cool hands against Robert’s stomach. Robert shivers under the touch and pulls back to catch his breath.

“Rules. We have rules.” Aaron smiles and gently kisses Robert’s neck. He nips at the skin of his collarbone and licks the bites.

“Mhm.” Aaron nods, but keeps at it. Robert grinds against Aaron’s leg, which causes Aaron to let out a laugh. Aaron lets go of Robert and lightly pushes him back. “You’re right.”

“Never.” He moves to resume kissing, but Aaron shifts out of his way. Robert loosens his grip, allowing Aaron to push off the car and step past him. Robert sighs and leans back against the car with his arms crossed.

“Sorry. I just don’t think we’re there yet.”

“You know, last time, I had you in the back of a car within a few minutes.”

“Well, we’re doing it different this time, aren’t we?” Robert nods.

Aaron knows that he’s being stubborn about the no-sex rule. He just doesn’t want to take that step until he knows for sure that he can trust Robert. Sure, he trusts him not to force himself on Aaron and he trusts him not to threaten to shoot him again. He’s still worried, as dumb as it is, that Robert will find someone better suited for him and leave.

Aaron doesn’t trust that he won’t be getting his heart broken again.

“I won’t do anything that you don’t want to.”

“Just to be clear, Robert, it’s not that I don’t _want_ to.”

Robert reaches out for Aaron’s hand and pulls him closer. “I know.”

Aaron can sense that Robert is still upset at him, but he knows him well enough that he’s not consciously trying pressure him into sex. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“No, none of that shit. What’s wrong?”

Robert lets go of Aaron’s hand and places his own on Aaron’s shoulders. “I just wish you trusted me.”

“I do, too.”

“I don’t know what I can do to _prove_ that—“

Aaron cuts him off. “You’re already doing it.”

“Are you sure? Because it doesn’t feel like it’s enough.”

Aaron takes Robert’s face in his hands. “It is. You’re showing me that we’re more than just sex and more than just the excitement of an affair. I am almost there, okay? I trust you, I do. And all of _this_ — it’s setting up our future together.”

Robert smiles. “Okay. I understand.” He kisses Aaron again and Aaron lets him linger for a few seconds before pulling back.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Robert nods which tells Aaron that it’s okay for him to leave.

He’s sees Jackson everywhere he goes now— he’s hardly ever alone, even in the shower. Walking through the back of the pub, he sees Jackson leaning against the doorframe and then again once he’s inside, sitting on the couch.

“I don’t like him pressuring you.”

“He’s not. Maybe if you actually listened, you’d know.” Aaron’s worried that everything Jackson is saying isn’t actually coming from Jackson, but from Aaron’s subconscious. He doesn’t like the idea that there are these thoughts in the back of his head, doubting Robert.

Of course, the other alternative is that his hallucination is _actually_ Jackson. He’s not sure which one is worse.

“He’s just using you, Aaron. Why can’t you see that?”

“If all he wanted was sex, don’t you think there are easier way for him to get it?” Aaron’s not oblivious to the flaws in his and Robert’s relationship— mainly that the only thing they could ever agree on was how good the sex was.

_You know how it is— the bigger the scrap, the better it is when we make-up._

But he’s not wrong, either. Robert is attractive and charming; he could be getting it from anywhere. He certainly wouldn’t be trying to glue back together the broken remnants of their old relationship if he only wants sex.

“It’s all about power with guys like Robert. He wants you under his thumb. To control you and manipulate you.”

“You’re mad. Robert’s not the psychopath that you think he is.” Jackson scoffs.

“Is he the psychopath that _you_ think he is?” Aaron flashes back to the Lodge; Robert’s hand clenching his face, forcing Aaron to listen to his diatribe about Katie’s death. Aaron remembers saying those words— _you’re a psychopath—_ but he doesn’t remember feeling them.

Robert’s not like that, Aaron reasons. He reached his breaking point and snapped. It happens to everyone.

“When did you start giving up on people?”

“When you started getting hurt.”

Jackson stands from the couch and walks over to Aaron. Aaron feels the hair on his arms stand up from being so close, but pretends not to notice.

“I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Tell me that you’ll leave him.”

Aaron feels his stomach drop and his eyes burn. He doesn’t want to cry— not about this, not about something he’s making up in his own head— so he tries to blink away the tears.

“I can’t do that.”

“I forgot how stubborn you are.”

Something inside Aaron snaps. “This isn’t about me being stubborn, Jackson. I love him and he’s changing for the better and we’re going to be okay. You can’t tell me what to do. You're dead. I don’t care what you think and I don’t want to hear about this anymore.”

“I’m trying to protect you.”

“Well stop.”

Aaron sees the hurt flash across Jackson’s face and considers apologizing. He stops when Jackson moved from hurt to angry, his stone face turning red. “How the hell am I supposed to do that? Huh? I had to come for you. You think I did that so that I could watch you ruin your life? For what? Some guy that just wants to use you? Fuck you and then leave before the sheets turn cold?”

“Get out.”

“What?”

“I’ve tolerated a lot from you.” Jackson rolls his eyes. “But I won’t anymore. I love you, Jackson, and I want you around, but if all you’re going to do is make me feel dirty and ashamed, then you need to leave.”

He misses the nights he spent in silence with Jackson; the brief glimpses of the man that he used to love have morphed into this angry, jealous ghost. He misses the soft touches and small smiles and feeling safe.

He doesn’t feel safe with Jackson anymore.

Jackson is gone within seconds. Aaron’s resolve falters and he feels his body go weightless. He’s managed to keep any tears from falling, but his face is hot and his hands are shaking.

“You all right, love?” His mum comes through from the stairs in her dressing gown. “Did something happen?”

He wipes his face, trying to keep her from seeing him cry. With his luck, she’ll think it has something do to with Robert and try to rub it in his face.

“No, I’m fine.”

“It’s not Robert, is it?” And there it is. “Oh, Aaron, whatever he’s done, it’s not worth it.”

“Mum, just stop. Robert’s not done anything.”

She walks up to him and puts her hand on his face, inspecting him closely. He looks up at the ceiling during her scrutiny, unable to tell her what’s been going on. She seems to sense that he doesn’t want to talk about it and drops her hand. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just gonna go to bed.” He kisses her cheek and turns away from her, practically running up the stairs. All he wants to do is sleep off this terrible night in hope of starting new tomorrow.

\----

They try again with Adam and Victoria. Victoria insists on doing it in the Woolpack to keep them from running off again. She swears that she’s not mad, but the little twitch in her eye tells Aaron that she is. It doesn’t matter though. Vic’s never been good at holding grudges.

Unlike some people.

Jackson hasn’t left him alone in days. Aaron’s almost to his limit with him. He has no idea what to do or say to get rid of him; everything he says just seems to go through one ear and out the other. As far as hallucinations go, this one is particularly intrusive on his life.

Even now, Jackson is sitting at their table, between Aaron and Adam, hands folded on the table and a thin upper lip. He’s not happy for Aaron— hasn’t been for days, actually— but he won’t leave.

He can’t seem to focus on anything around him, too. Adam and Victoria are chatting about something, clearly trying to make Robert feel involved because he can vaguely hear Robert’s voice, but Aaron has no clue what they’re talking about. Jackson is surrounding him completely, keeping him in a tunnel of anger and frustration.

“How could you think that I would leave you?” Jackson speaks. He puts his hand on top of Aaron’s. His hand is cold and rough, like a builder’s. Aaron can’t feel the table beneath him or the warmth of the pub or even Robert’s hand on his thigh. All he can feel and smell and hear is Jackson.

“You _know_ that this isn’t right. Robert? You shouldn’t be with him.” Aaron closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. His temples are burning and with every word, he can feel it deeper and stronger than before.

But he’s supposed to be having a nice time right now. He’s out with mates— he shouldn’t be contemplating the quickest and least questionable way to leave the table.

“Go away.” He whispers to Jackson, hoping that no one else can hear him. Aaron fidgets in his chair and rubs his forehead, trying to will the headache and Jackson in the same thought. Robert looks over at him— at least Aaron notices that— and gives him a curious glance.

Jackson ignores him. “I had to come for you, Aaron. There’s no way that I’m leaving you again.”

“Are you okay?” Robert keeps his voice low while Victoria and Adam talk about Johnny. Aaron nods and fakes a smile.

Of course he feels bad lying to Robert, but it doesn’t stop him from doing it anyway.

“Do you hear me? I’m not leaving until you’ve fixed your life. I’m trying to save you.”

“Stop.”

“No. Robert is a psychopath. He has no soul, Aaron. He’s using you to make himself feel better and then he’s going to leave you. Because everyone always does. But _I’m_ here for you. Why can’t you see that?”

“Why can’t you just shut up?” His voice raises higher than he expected. Vic and Adam stop midsentence and look over to him.

“What?” It’s Adam, he thinks, but he’s too focused on Jackson to really register the voice. Aaron’s fully aware of the entire table looking at him. He can’t handle the attention or the questions that he’ll inevitably get.

Jackson stands up quickly, pushing the chair back with enough force to knock it over. No one but Aaron flinches.

No one but Aaron can see it happen.

“Aaron?” It’s Robert this time. His voice pierces through his Jackson-bubble with startling clarity.

“You might be determined to throw your life away, Aaron, but I’m not gonna let that happen.”

“Yeah, well, no one asked you.”

Aaron can’t decide if he should stay and make excuses for his outburst (Adam and Vic won’t stop staring at him. Robert’s hand is resting gently on his shoulder with delicate care) or if he should follow Jackson out of the pub.

“What’s wrong?” Vic leans over the table and puts her hand on his arm. He tries not to flinch, but he feels himself pull away before he can stop himself. “Aaron?” He’s still in a haze, the thumping in his head amplifies every second that Jackson is gone.

“I’m sorry.” He stands up slowly, Robert’s eyes following him as he stands. “I have to go.”

“Wait, what’s going on? Are you okay?” Aaron can hardly hear Robert as he walks out.

 -----

Robert finds Aaron a few hours later. He’s sitting at the kitchen table with the books from the scrapyard— if he can’t force himself to actually do anything at work, he may as well bring it home.

“You gonna tell me what that was about?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” He tries to play it off. There’s no way that Robert would actually let the subject drop, but that doesn’t mean Aaron’s not willing to try.

“What are you playing at? You were yelling at Adam, which, by the way, I wouldn’t normally mind except that he wasn’t being as obnoxious as he usually is.”

“That’s my best mate you’re talking about.”

“Then why’d you yell at him?”

Aaron doesn’t know a way out of this. He doesn’t know how to explain to Robert that he’d been yelling at his dead ex-boyfriend.

“I didn’t mean to.” Robert sits in the chair beside Aaron. Aaron closes the books and looks at his hands. “I’m just under a lot of stress right now. The scrapyard, my mum— I was just thinking and it got the better of me.” It sounds plausible enough. He feels worse as Robert’s face softens with understanding.

“Which is why you need to take a break every now and then. Adam can mind the scrapyard if you need some time to yourself.” Aaron nods, unwilling to tell Robert that he’s been unable to spend full days at the scrapyard because he can’t carry two conversations at once— Jackson is almost always around and Adam doesn’t like to work in silence.

“And my mum? She’s doing my head in.”

“Because of me.” Robert sighs. Aaron can see that the stress of Chas has taken a toll on Robert as well. He wants so badly for his mum to get over what Robert’s done in the past, like Paddy is trying, but he doesn’t know how to convince her of anything. Especially after he’d thrown Carl in her face.

“This isn’t your fault, Robert. What I said about Carl— I shouldn’t have spoken to her like that. And she’ll come ‘round eventually. I mean, she’s never gonna love you like I do, but maybe she’ll stop hoping that you die in your sleep.”

Aaron realizes what he’s said almost immediately. He looks from his hands to Robert’s smiling face. “You realize that’s the first time you’ve said that since February?”

Aaron nods. And suddenly nothing else matters. He doesn’t notice— or care— if Jackson is around. He doesn’t feel his presence or his negative energy. He can’t even feel the headache that’s been so prominent these past few weeks.

“Say it again.”

“I love you.” Robert smiles even bigger. He leans over and catches Aaron in a kiss. Aaron can feel his whole body relax at Robert’s touch. Robert pulls back.

“I love you, too.”

And that’s all it takes.

Aaron stands and reaches out for Robert’s hand. He pulls the other man up without a word.

“Aaron?”

“Do you wanna come upstairs with me?”

Robert looks confused for a few seconds before realization dawns on him. “Are you sure?”

Aaron smiles and nods. Pulling Robert along behind him he makes his way up the stairs and into his bedroom.

Aaron pulls away from Robert for a second to tug his shirt over his head. Robert’s hands come up to rest on his chest, lightly tracing the scars on his chest. “Are you sure?” Robert asks again.

“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.” Robert smiles, his hands slide up his chest and relax on Aaron’s collarbone and neck. He leans forward and kisses Aaron gently. Aaron unbuttons Robert’s shirt between kisses, but by the time he finishes, he nearly rips the bottom ones off in a haste.

After Aaron pulls of Robert’s shirt, he starts unbuttoning his jeans. Robert’s kissing his neck— soft and smooth, just the way Aaron likes it. He smiles, pulling Robert’s belt off and pushing his jeans down.

Robert pulls back to let his jeans drop to the floor. “Eager?”

“It’s been too long.” Robert laughs and nods. Aaron grabs Robert’s face in his hands and pulls him into a kiss. The heat is electric; Robert is giving Aaron everything that he’d been holding back since they got back together.

Robert pushes Aaron down onto his bed, kneeling at the foot to tug off Aaron’s jeans and pants. He then moves up the bed, straddling Aaron’s hips with both hands on his chest.

“I don’t want you to think I’m just using you for your body,” Robert says, running his hands up and down Aaron’s chest and then letting them rest on his shoulders. “but I’ve really missed this.”

“Me too.” Aaron wraps his arms around Robert’s back and flips them over so that Aaron is on top. He’s got a wry smile as he slides down Robert’s body, stopping himself once he gets to Robert’s cock. He envelops Robert with his mouth, sucking gently as he goes down. Robert tugs at Aaron’s hair— Aaron can tell that Robert is trying to hold back and keep from fucking into his mouth, which Aaron appreciates.

It’s their first time after everything, so sue him for wanting it soft and gentle.

Robert’s quivering beneath him, his legs shaking at every flick and swirl of Aaron’s tongue. Aaron pulls off of Robert’s cock slowly, letting a string of saliva fall from his lips.

“Do you have…?” Robert’s breathless. Aaron practically smothers Robert trying to reach under his bed for condoms and lube. “What?”

“Mum’s been nosing around in ‘ere, lately. I didn’t want the hassle of explaining these to her.”

Robert nods as Aaron gets back up and throws the stuff on his chest. “Here.” Robert uncaps the lube and squirts some onto his fingers. He lines one up against Aaron’s hole, teasing him by circling the muscle in light, feathery touches. “C’mon, Rob.”

Robert smirks, settling a hand on Aaron’s waist as he pushes a finger into him. Aaron closes his eyes tight, trying to relax his body at the intrusion. It’s been too long; he’s missed the sensation of having Robert touch him. Robert pumps his finger in and out a few times before using a second and then a third. He makes sure Aaron’s good and stretched, hole still wet from lube before handing Aaron a condom. Aaron tears open the packet and hurriedly gets it onto Robert. He pumps Robert’s cock a few more times with lube.

“Ready?” Aaron nods and Robert flips them over so that he’s on top. He laces his left hand with Aaron’s and uses the right to line up his cock against Aaron’s hole. He pushes in slowly to let Aaron get used to the sensation.

“Fuck, that’s— that’s good.” Aaron smiles and laughs, causing Robert to smile and laugh. Robert wraps Aaron’s legs around his hips and pushes into him further. He leans down and kisses Aaron until Aaron shifts grinds himself up onto Robert. Robert gets the hint and pulls out of Aaron and the pumping himself back in.

It’s different than Aaron remembers. Sex with Robert used to be his worst form of self-harm. Now it’s his favorite form of recovery.

Robert jerks him off in time with his thrusts, kissing his neck and the side of his face with ease. “Fuck, I’ve missed you.” Robert whispers into his skin. Aaron tightens the grips of his legs against Robert’s hips, urging him to move faster. Robert obeys, thrusting and pumping quicker until they’re both grunting and sweating.

Aaron comes first between their chests, then Robert follows. He pulls out of Aaron slowly, throws the condom out and lies next to Aaron with his head on his chest.

“So?”

Aaron brings an arm around Robert, letting his hand rest on his shoulder. “What?”

“Was it as good as you remember?”

“Hm.” He’s too tired to respond. Robert huffs and sighs, clearly trying to get a compliment out of Aaron. But his ego’s big enough as it is— he knows the sex had been better than it had ever been.

They’re safe now. Gone are the days of cleaning up and rushing out. They can lay in Aaron’s room all night if they want— and they do.

\-----

Aaron wakes up in the middle of the night, his feet cold from sticking out of the blanket due to the lack of space. Robert’s arms are around him and his face is pressed into the crook of Aaron’s neck.

Aaron closes his eyes and goes back to sleep.

\-----

Robert is still asleep when Aaron has to get up to go to work. He’s promised Adam that he’ll go in early to sort out a delivery and since Aaron hadn’t anticipated for his relationship to take the next step, he’d daftly agreed.

Gently, he untangles himself from Robert and gets out of bed. He should wake Robert— especially if he wants to save him from an early morning interrogation from his mother— but he looks too peaceful and Aaron is in too much of a hurry to have to deal with him.

By all accounts, Robert would pull him back into bed and Aaron wouldn’t be at work for at least another hour.

Instead, he dresses silently. Between brushing his teeth and combing in some hair gel, Jackson appears.

He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to.

“Get over it.”

“I’m not stupid enough to think you wouldn’t move on after I died.”

“Good.”

“I just didn’t think that you’d be stupid enough to move on with _him._ ”

“Not this again. I’m with him, I love him— move on.” Aaron runs his fingers through his hair one last time before deciding that he looks fine. Jackson follows him into the kitchen and watches him make coffee, the whole time glaring daggers into his back.

“If you hate my life so much, then why are you still here?”

“You think I can leave?”

Aaron scoffs. He’s supposed to be at the scrapyard by six, which means that no one else has woken up yet. He gets his jacket on and walks to the scrapyard with Jackson hot on his heels.

“Believe me, Aaron, if I had any other choice, I would just leave you.”

“What’s stopping you? As far as I can tell, you can leave whenever you want. You’re a flipping _ghost,_ Jackson.”

“I’m trying to help you!”

“Not this again.” He scowls. “If you wanted to help me, you’d leave me alone.” He walks past Ashley, who’s out on a morning walk, and Aaron smiles briefly before turning away.

“I had to come for you.”

“I swear to god, Jackson, if you say that one more time—”

“You’ll what? Kill me?” Anger boils in Aaron’s veins. Jackson’s right; there’s nothing that he can do that could get rid of him.

Ignoring hasn’t worked. Yelling at him hasn’t either.

Aaron barely remembers the days where he wished Jackson would be proud of him. Now he only wants him gone.

He’s at the scrapyard in no time. He meets the delivery man and takes the scrap with only mild complaining from Jackson. Clearly, the only time Jackson really wants to talk with him is when it’s most inconvenient.

Which becomes apparent when Adam comes in an hour later.

With every moment of Jackson’s presence, Aaron’s perpetual headache becomes worse. He’s sitting at his desk with the lights off when Adam barges in. He flicks the light on and jumps when he sees Aaron.

“Christ. What’d you doin’, just sitting in the dark like that?”

“Sorry. Been up since five, haven’t I? Just tired is all.” Lying, unfortunately, has come much easier for Aaron in these past few weeks.

He doesn’t know how long he can keep it up, though, now that he’s had a very public, very confusing outburst.

“You don’t expect me to believe that, do you?” Aaron sighs. He shouldn’t have expected Adam to believe him as easily as Robert had. “What’s been goin’ on with you?” Adam’s voice is soft. He's clearly worried.

He should be, but that doesn’t mean Aaron wants him to be.

“If this is about yesterday, then I don’t wanna hear it.”

“It’s not just yesterday, Aaron. It’s about how weird you’ve been acting lately.” Aaron’s whole body in tingling. He had hoped that having Jackson around wouldn’t affect how he was being in front of other people, but his outburst yesterday made that nearly impossible.

“What d’ya mean?”

“I mean the way you stare off into space when people talk to you. And those weird little comments under your breath. And yesterday, at the pub. It’s dead weird, mate.”

“Listen, Adam, I don’t point out every weird thing you do.”

“It’s a bit more than a personality quirk, isn’t it?”

Aaron, for no other reason than being worked up by Jackson, feels himself gearing up for a fight. His skin is hot and his head is faint and heart starts beating wildly, like he’s in flight or fight mode— which, to Aaron, seems odd because Adam’s just concerned.

“C’mon, mate, you can talk to me. Whatever it is, we can get through it.”

“I’ll already told you, didn’t I? I’m tired. And— and stressed. You peckin’ my head isn’t helping much, either.”

Adam steps towards Aaron and puts his hand on his shoulder. Aaron tries to push him away, but feels his arm go weak and his sight blurry. “I’m just tryin’ to help, Aaron. C’mon.”

“I don’t need your help.”

He barely gets the words out when his legs go numb. Before he hits the floor, everything turns to black.

 


End file.
